Friday, September 30, 2016

Cassandra Peterson Headshot

Pre-Elvira.  Such a babe.

And while we're at it...

Cassandra Peterson backshot.

Nintendo goes Chopping Mall?

Tell me you don't see it.

Now you're playing with power...

Freddy's Nightmares Lobbcard

I had a few of these on VHS back in the day - they weren't terrible that I remember, though the "Never Sleep Again" documentary colors them differently.  They definitely need a decent release though - even bad Freddy is still pretty good.  Well, other than Freddy's Dead - that shit just sucks.

Review: Sorceress (1995)

It's 1995.  Julie Strain is a seductive witch who practices her dark arts while naked.  Linda Blair is the good-turned-bad opposing witch who looks good but isn't showing much.  Rochelle Swanson is the new love interest and Toni Naples shows up to add a little extra skin.  Fred Olen Ray is producing.  Pretty much says classic Skinemax/Up All Night trash, doesn't it?

If that wasn't enough, the legendary Jim Wynorski is directing.  You can almost hear Rhonda Shear introducing it...

Jim Wynorski's 1995 softcore classic Sorceress (aka. Temptress) is about the best you can get for a traditional late-night erotic thriller.  It has a great cast, a story that mostly makes sense (or at least ties the skin scenes together without being too distracting), the music sounds like a late 80s Full Moon score, and has nudity every five minutes or so.  Back in the mid-90s pay TV couldn't offer much better than that after 1030pm.

Surprisingly well acted by an all-star cast, Sorceress tells the tale of warring witches in suburbia - well, two witches who don't really like each other anyway.  They cast spells to make other women into sex-starved murderesses, give men heart attacks, and generally fuck with each for reasons that are never fully explained.  Then one of them dies and her ghost haunts her now cursed husband - this guy just gets it from all angles.  And for no reason - he doesn't even know what's going on!  It'd be a rough life if he wasn't pulling down ass by the cartload every time he turns around.

So yeah, the story isn't much to write home about, but about 99.8% of viewers won't be tuning in for the plot.  The sex scenes are good and frequent with Strain and friends looking great.  Beyond that there isn't much else to talk about.  The movie doesn't feature any real death scenes or monsters or special effects - though there is a well done explosion/car crash early on - or fight scenes or any of the other stuff we usually look for in a drive-in flick.  It does have Julie Strain full frontal and in a lesbian threesome though, and that's about all you need.

Sorceress is very highly recommended for fans of 90s softcore cinema.  You can't get much better than a joint Wynorski/Strain effort.  If you aren't a fan of this sort of thing - and surprisingly there are a few out there who aren't - this one won't be for you.  It isn't a horror movie despite some suggestion that it is.  This is straight softcore porn with some subtle witch overtones to carry the narrative on.

That's about the classiest description of Sorceress you're going to find.

Thursday, September 29, 2016

I Miss 80s Babes - Samantha Fox Edition

Can't say her music did much for me.  Luckily she had some other talents to fall back on.

Kiss meets Vampirella

I'd watch it.

Rock like it's 1984

Convert your friends with the newest Judas Priest cassette!  Man, those were the days.  I'd have been all over this had I been more than a few months old.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Giger - Alien 2

Can't say I ever really liked the see-thru dome in the original movie or in some of the artwork/figures that followed - looks a little silly, and they don't seem like the type of creatures that would have solid bone skeletons given how fast they grow.  I mean, I realize the biology would be different and all, but if you go from chestburster size to drone size in a matter of hours or days (depending on the movie) you'd have to be largely fluid-based, not bone as it takes that a long time to develop and harden.

Anyway, that's about the geekiest this blog has been so far.  Nicely done.  On with the picture.